Meltdown: They Happen, They’re Real
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As I write this I am still coming down from these dreaded panic attacks. I don’t know what brought this one on; furthermore, this attack did not follow any trigger warnings that I’d had in the past. This one was out of the blue and while I was in the shower. I’d had a coughing spell and I’d coughed so hard there came dry-heaves. Following those was the physiological agony of not being able to breathe properly…
“Breathe… 1…2…3… Breathe…” - My wife came into the bathroom and could tell that I was not okay. Her slow methodical counting and soothing voice helped me out of it. She stayed with me until I was dressed and ready to be on my own.
I took my medication for this and it has a rapid response to my body’s anxiety and telling it to fuck off. While in my head, and as I write this feels foggy.
Today will be a good day. Tomorrow is never promised. Today is my day to keep moving forward. I am here.
I am here.
My mission is to continue to conquer my anxiety and create this day in the most positive way that I can. My dog is at my feet, doing what he is to do - calm me in an uncalm state.
The shakes are gone - the dry heaves are gone , the world is still standing and the day is waiting for my arrival. The sun is coming out - even on this dreary spring morning - it continues to rise. And now I need to pray.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I implore you to help me through this day - one foot in front of the other; creating an air that makes it clean for me to breathe and not forget where I come from. Amen”
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